As Thanksgiving approaches, many people find themselves grappling with mixed emotions—for Indigenous peoples and non-Indigenous people alike. For Indigenous communities, the month of November is meant to be a time of celebration, reflection, and the recognition of their rich cultures, histories, and resilience. However, it’s also a period filled with complex feelings as the holiday of Thanksgiving looms, carrying with it a painful history of colonisation and cultural erasure.

Similarly, for non-Indigenous people, this time can trigger a range of conflicting emotions. There’s often the desire to engage in cultural awareness, to acknowledge the wrongs of the past, and to stand in solidarity with Indigenous communities. Yet, this can also bring up feelings of guilt, discomfort, and even helplessness about how to meaningfully engage without overstepping or further perpetuating harm.

As a therapist working with clients who navigate the complexities of identity, history, and relationships with culture, I’ve noticed how these feelings intensify during this time of year. Whether you’re Indigenous or non-Indigenous, these emotions are real, complex, and deserving of exploration.

The Mixed Emotions That Can Surface

1.Grief and Loss

For Indigenous peoples, Thanksgiving can serve as a painful reminder of the genocide, displacement, and historical trauma experienced by their ancestors. It can bring up feelings of grief, mourning, and frustration over the continued erasure of Indigenous histories in mainstream narratives. Many are left with the feeling that they must reconcile cultural pride with the historical injustice tied to the holiday.

2.Guilt and Discomfort

Non-Indigenous people, especially those who are learning about Indigenous issues and histories, can experience guilt about their role in perpetuating systemic injustice. This guilt may stem from the recognition that Thanksgiving celebrations have historically been framed as a time of unity and gratitude, glossing over the painful past for Indigenous peoples.

3.Solidarity vs. Tokenism

Non-Indigenous people may struggle with how to engage respectfully with Indigenous communities during this time. Many feel conflicted between showing genuine solidarity and avoiding token gestures that come off as performative. There’s also the challenge of navigating how to actively support Indigenous communities without appropriating or co-opting their traditions.

4.Cultural Pride and Conflict

For those with Indigenous heritage, there’s often a simultaneous sense of pride in one’s culture and ancestors, as well as a desire for greater representation and recognition. However, this pride can also coexist with a deep sense of frustration at the ways mainstream celebrations like Thanksgiving distort or minimize Indigenous experiences.

5.Feeling Overlooked

For Indigenous peoples who feel that the history of Thanksgiving is being used to whitewash the colonial past, there’s often a sense of being overlooked or silenced in larger cultural conversations. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a sense that their history is either misrepresented or ignored altogether.

6.Cognitive Dissonance

Many non-Indigenous individuals experience a cognitive dissonance around the concept of Thanksgiving—how to reconcile their personal gratitude for family and togetherness with the deep hurt that the holiday represents for Indigenous peoples. This internal conflict can be emotionally taxing and difficult to navigate.

Facilitating the Exploration of These Mixed Feelings in Therapy

As a therapist, I understand that the emotional complexities surrounding Indigenous Heritage Month and Thanksgiving are profound. Acknowledging the variety of feelings that surface during this time is critical, both for Indigenous and non-Indigenous individuals. Here are some ways I facilitate the exploration of these emotions:

1.Create a Safe and Non-Judgmental Space

It’s essential to begin with creating a space where clients feel safe to express their feelings without fear of judgment or invalidation. Mixed emotions—grief, guilt, anger, and pride—are often nuanced and don’t fit neatly into a single narrative. I invite clients to explore these feelings openly, acknowledging that multiple truths can exist simultaneously.

2.Validate Their Experience

For those grappling with guilt or discomfort, I work to validate their emotions without pathologising them. Guilt, when examined, can become a powerful tool for change. I help clients move from feeling stuck in guilt to using that emotion as a motivation to learn more and take meaningful actions in support of Indigenous communities.

3.Focus on Personal and Collective Healing

Indigenous communities have long practiced resilience and healing despite centuries of oppression. In therapy, we explore ways to reclaim, heal, and embrace Indigenous identities, histories, and cultures. I help clients reconnect with their heritage in empowering and culturally affirming ways, allowing for individual and collective healing.

4.Embrace the Complexity of Identity

Navigating Mixed identities can bring about confusion and a sense of fragmentation, especially for those who identify as both Indigenous and non-Indigenous. I work to help clients embrace the complexity of their identity, understanding that it’s possible to feel pride in one’s heritage while simultaneously addressing the pain and trauma associated with it.

5.Encourage Educational Growth and Action

Non-Indigenous clients often benefit from engaging in deep learning about Indigenous histories, cultures, and struggles. I encourage clients to actively listen to Indigenous voices, support Indigenous-led organisations, and engage in real-world actions that promote justice and reconciliation. This educational growth often alleviates feelings of helplessness and fosters more constructive, informed ways of supporting Indigenous communities.

6.Unpacking the Role of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is centred around gratitude, but for many Indigenous peoples, it’s a reminder of dispossession and erasure. In therapy, I encourage clients to reframe gratitude in a way that acknowledges the harm of the past while fostering a mindset of gratitude for their heritage and the opportunity to make positive change in the future.

7.Reimagining Thanksgiving

For some clients, the solution may lie in reimagining Thanksgiving. Instead of focusing on traditional narratives, we can explore ways to honour Indigenous people during the holiday by learning about Indigenous history, supporting Native-owned businesses, or creating new family rituals that focus on healing, respect, and gratitude that honours all cultures.

The Path Forward: Moving Toward Healing and Empowerment

While the complexities surrounding Indigenous Heritage Month and Thanksgiving may never fully dissipate, there’s always an opportunity for growth, understanding, and healing. By acknowledging the mixed emotions that arise and engaging in open, honest conversations about them, we can all begin to dismantle the historical narratives that have caused pain and division.

To my Indigenous clients, your identity, your culture, and your resilience are valid, powerful, and deserving of recognition—not only in November, but every day. And to my non-Indigenous clients, I encourage you to approach this season with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to learn, grow, and stand in solidarity. Together, we can begin to reshape these complex histories into pathways for healing, empowerment, and mutual respect.

As a therapist, I am here to support you in navigating these challenges. If you’re feeling conflicted, unsure, or overwhelmed by the emotions that this season brings, I invite you to explore these feelings with me. I can help you process the complexities of identity, history, and healing, guiding you toward a space of acceptance and growth.

Ready to Begin Your Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery?

If you’re struggling with the emotional complexities of Indigenous Heritage Month and Thanksgiving, or if you’re looking to explore your identity in a deeper way, I’m here to help. Together, we can work through these layers and move toward a place of greater understanding and self-empowerment. To get started, reach out to me via email at [email protected] or visit the contact page on my website for a free consultation. Let’s begin this journey together. Check out this Native American meditation music here.

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